Platonic intimacy is seeing your friend’s car in the grocery store parking lot and parking so close to him that he can’t open his door and has the crawl through the passenger’s side.
Platonic intimacy is hot gluing four copies of Resident Evil – Code: Veronica to the ceiling of his hallway closet and seeing how long it takes him to notice that there’s four copies of Resident Evil – Code: Veronica hot glued to the ceiling of his hallway closet.
Platonic intimacy is watching the graceful curve of his body as he stretches in bed, fixating on the strip of skin where his shirt’s pulled up juuuust enough that you can sneeze on his exposed stomach and then run away while he’s distracted and bewildered by how super gross and unnecessary that was.
Platonic intimacy is sending him an e-mail that says, “The Harbinger of Boy Sauce is Upon You,” instead of just, like, texting him and letting him know you’re on your way to help him do his shots.
Platonic intimacy is calling him in the middle of the night and waking him up because you heard a weird noise outside that you’re about to investigate, and you need moral support and also someone to call an ambulance if you end up having to knife fight a racoon.
No, it’s platonic. If it’s romantic, you gotta’ have a rose between your teeth and one titty out.
i think the ska and scene communities should bond over their shared love of checkerboard patterns and create a new fusion genre….. skene..
oh ho I wanna hear that
nobody is coming to save you. get up
The thing is, if you never go anywhere and never talk to anyone and never reach out to new people and never text first because you have convinced yourself you're unlovable, then your loneliness will become a self-fulfilling prophecy - and that's NOT because you're actually inherently unlovable...
SORRY FOR THE REPOST of the first two, but did a dragonite design to finish out the sea-snake dratini line!
Went through a hella long sphinx phase on twitter. These are some of my fav designs from it~
Sometimes fanfiction is a love letter to the original canon, sometimes it’s just that one telegram that says “Fuck you. Strongly worded letter to follow”.
And sometimes it’s 95 things that canon did wrong, nailed to a door.
martin luther was onto something
“95 Things The Catholic Church Got Wrong And The One Thing It Got Right”
54 chapters, 423k words, slow burn
anneuhken-deactivated20200828
my kid has started to write stories and like, no lies, they’re funny as fuck
anneuhken-deactivated20200828
actual dialogue:
“to your battle stations, boys! it’s time to line up and see who’s tall enough for the roller coaster to hell!! some of us may not survive this, but the ones that do will get the ultimate reward.... paid.”
anneuhken-deactivated20200828
“here’s a penny for your thoughts, and a quarter to not tell me them”
B A B E
25 bathrooms.
How much shitting can a person do?
I mean, he is pretty full of shit
A tree trunk throne in Kendall, England.
jazz2midnight
Doesn’t look safe for a mortal.
aquatalks
if you sit there you belong to the fae
That’s the Fae’s problem
nobody-is-typing
That is such a strong, bold, confident statement and I respect you for it.
SLUR?????
My man said "boomer" with the hard "R".
deathlessmax
Sup, my Booma
Is it okay for me to say Boomer if its in the lyrics to a song? im just trying to honor the artists intent
Guys calm down, my grandma is over 60 so I'm allowed to say it
It's Friday the 13th AND a full moon
Cryptids, werewolves, and supernatural features alike *slaps neck*
COME
GET
Y'ALL
JUICE
pyronoid-d
/r/choosingbeggars is the only good Subreddit I’ve decided
pyronoid-d
pyronoid-d
pyronoid-d
moth-mobile
This is one of the best ones I’ve found from there
Damn you’re right
This is so cursed I swear I lost five years of life
An absolutely CRITICAL part of mermaid social etiquette is to ALWAYS swim around head height with other mermaids. This prevents both mermaids from harming each other via their tails, fins, and other appendages.
This etiquette is also intended to symbolize equality – regardless of whether you’re a coastal mermaid, a small freshwater mermaid, or a 50ft tall deep sea mermaid, everybody is deserving of equal stature.
simplelittlepaperyanon
OP: It’s for etiquette and safety for other mermaids!
Me: Hell yeah! :)
OP: Because all mermaids are equal.
Me, crying: H-hell,,, yeah,,,!!!! :,)
